# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
