She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
