she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Randomize
