I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
