Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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