I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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