So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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