It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
