Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
