It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize