He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
