Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
you made out with another girl for some wings
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
