...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize