Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize