We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
