she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
