I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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