Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
