my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
