what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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