i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Randomize
