yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
