There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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