i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
