As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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