Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
