I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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