yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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