I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
operation harelip BJ is a go
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize