dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
