and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
