And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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