My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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