drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
they're like a gay fantastic four
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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