Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
