even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
