please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
