So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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