can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
