The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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