so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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