its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
