did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
