I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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