Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
