He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
