What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
