i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
