I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
only if we run a train.
done.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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