Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize