i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
