I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
