The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
