i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
