I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
